Admittedly, every generation of parents has the same question: What is the most important thing that I can do for my child?
It's the school that people think they are going to choose. Some others are interested in healthy food, extracurriculars or academic performance. Of all these, there is one habit which all child psychologists and parenting experts will agree affects a child's development the most:
Listening to your child and being present with him or her.
This common, daily routine can have a lasting impact on a child's confidence, mood, communication and family relationships for years.
Why Listening Is More Powerful Than We Realize
Kids need to be viewed and heard.
Consider how many times little children say:
"Look at me!"
"Listen to this!"
“May I share with you?”
Not only are they disseminating information. They desire to be linked.
Responsive listening from parents helps them send a powerful message to their children:
It is important what you think and feel.
This is a step towards good self-esteem.
Children Open Up When They Feel Safe
With the age increasing the parents are becoming worried about the bond between their children and the parents.
The reality is that communication skills begin at an early age.
If young children are happy to share small things, they will be more likely to share larger things in the future.
If the child does know his/her parent, he/she will listen but will not form a hasty judgment, criticizing or dismissing the parent.
Talk about problems
Ask for help
Share worries
Express emotions honestly
This trust is of great value as children develop.
Listening Helps Emotional Development
It can be difficult for young children to communicate their feelings.
Sadness can manifest itself in anger.
Frustration can manifest itself as being difficult.
Listening is more about what is going on under the surface than just the behaviour.
For example:
Instead of saying:
"Stop crying."
Try:
"You seem upset. Tell me what happened."
This helps kids to understand that it's okay and normal to feel things, and that they can handle it.
This is a crucial part to emotional health.
Small Moments Matter Most
Many parents think that it takes hours of special time each day.
But what they will remember are the little bits of the day.
Some examples:
Reading aloud a story about their after school experience.
On the way, we talked.
Reading together before bedtime.
Discussing object they made with blocks
They ask tons of questions, such as what dinosaurs were and what was in space.
Over time, these mundane moments make for powerful connections.
What Good Listening Looks Like?
Listening is not just listening to words during a telephone conversation or while working in the house.
Children know that they can't do two things at once.
Listening well can be defined as:
Making eye contact
Putting distractions away
Allowing them to complete their statement
Making use of straightforward follow–up questions.
Including and demonstrating their awareness of information.
Five minutes of focused time can make a difference to a child.
It Builds Confidence
Children become confident when they are respected.
With regular listening by parents:
Children are more at ease in expressing ideas.
They realize that their views are important.
They are able to communicate more effectively.
Reports feeling more at ease in social situations.
Praise is not the only way to build confidence. It escalates when children feel listened to.
Listening Can Reduce Power Struggles
Often, parents and children argue and fight as they feel that they are not understood.
Sometimes, a child doesn't require a solution immediately.
What they really need is someone to recognise their feelings.
When parents listen first, they usually de-escalate the emotional arousal of children, and increase their cooperation.
This is not to imply that there need to be no rules or boundaries.
It's a matter of knowing first rather than changing first.
For example:
“I know you are sad that play time is over, but it's okay to be sad, it's bed time.”
If children feel that their emotions are being understood, they will respond in an extraordinary manner.
A Habit Every Parent Can Start Today
The best part of this parenting tip is that you don't have to spend any money.
Special equipment, expensive classes and complicated techniques are not necessary.
All you need is a few moments of true attention.
A few ideas:
Ask open-ended questions.
Listen without interrupting.
Set aside the cell phone for conversations.
Have regular one to one sessions with your child.
Show an interest in things that are of concern to her/him.
Many parents aren't aware of the ways these little things contribute to a strong family.
Final Thoughts
No such thing as a perfect parent. All families experience hectic days, challenging times and sometimes errors.
One habit that always helps children is to listen to them patiently, attentively and with interest.
Not everything children are rewarded for, outed on or remembered. What they usually recall was about the loving people.
Hearing their child's needs, feelings and thoughts makes the child feel valued, respected and safe. Those feelings are the foundation of ongoing confidence, healthy child development and good relationships.
FAQs:
1. Why is Listening so crucial in Parenting?
Listening makes children feel valued, helps them to trust and bonds them emotionally to the family.
2. How can listening enhance children's development?
Promotes communication, confidence, emotional awareness and social development.
3. What is meant by the term "active listening"?
Active listening is the ability to listen without interrupting, maintain eye contact, and to listen attentively.
4. Does listening make a child's behaviour better?
Often, yes. When children feel understood and respected they will be more cooperative.
5. How many minutes of talking with children do parents have each day?
It doesn't require a lengthy time period to notice that it makes a difference—and even 10-15 minutes of conversation a day, without distractions, can make a difference.
Some More Parenting Topics:
How Children's Behaviour Changes When Their Parents Are Stressed At Home
Evening Routines That Strengthen The Bond Between Parents And Young Children
